Paws 'nd claws
by angelandbolt
Summary: It's me, Vince. Some freaky animal has come and cast a spell on me and now Howard doesn't even know who I am!  Please read and comment to see how I get around this problem!
1. What just happened

Well I was late as usual and Howard wanted me to go out to the back to pick up more bin bags. I still don't see the point but anyway.

So I was lifting them and trying not to get any rubbish on my new outfit when all of a sudden this giant light comes from the sky and something crashed into the pile of bin bags. I carefully tunnelled through the bags to try and see what had crashed and I met this animal that looked like a mixture of a wolf and a fox.

Not only did it have a magic carpet, the damn thing talked.

It was mumbling something about taking over the world so I tried to ignore that part.

"Hey, what's happening?" I asked the animal being cool

"Are you Vince?" it asked its paws shaking

"Yea, you probably know me I am quite famous." I said but it is the truth

"My master told me to give this to you." The animal said handing me a bag.

"What's in it?" I asked seeing coloured shapes that looked like bones.

"Biscuits!" he said

"Oh cool." I said foolishly eating one. I swallowed it and started complaining "They are well rank, what biscuits are they?"

The animal laughed "special dog biscuits"

I looked down into the bag; I should have known I mean it's not often that biscuits have sparks flying from them. I looked up from the bag and the animal was standing above me with what looked like those biscuits only in powder form, he quickly dumped them over my head.

I began to choke and eventually I passed out.

I woke up a little while later and I knew from as soon as I opened my eyes that something was different. Well I could smell that animal but I couldn't see it and I can hear Howard who is inside but worst of all everything I could see was in black and white well there was a tinge of blue and purple as well but black and white mainly. I looked down and instead of seeing my big hands I saw these little black paws and short black claws. I stood up and knew something strange was definitely happening. I was standing on four legs instead of my normal feet. I looked round at my back and I saw loads of fur and worst of all a tail!

"I need to get to a mirror quick!" I said but at first it came out like a bark but the more I spoke the more it sounded more like my voice only way higher pitched. I ran out of the bags and I lost control of my own legs. I flew across the back yard and landed in a puddle. Great, just great. I stood up and got out of the puddle. I looked in it to see my reflection, I was no longer myself and I was now black Labrador puppy with big blue eyes. I tried to run into the shop but I couldn't open the door. I hate to admit it but I thwacked into the door. Howard opened the door and picked me up.

"Who are you?" he said stroking my head, I liked it "I've never seen you around before"

"That's because I'm Vince!" I said it sounded perfect English to me but he replied "Don't bark at me, no sir"

I felt powerless. I wasn't wearing a collar obviously because I have no owner. I'm Vince Noir rock and roll star, I don't have an owner.

"You don't have a collar so I suppose I will keep you here for a while." Howard said still stroking me. "As long as you are housetrained." Howard said

I looked at him like he had shit on his face. House trained! How very dare you! I'm Vince Noir I don't go to the toilet in the shop that's gross!

He set me down and I ran straight to my perfect red chair. I couldn't climb up on it so I had to jump. It spun round with my landing. It dizzied the hell out of me.

"Don't get on that" Howard said coming over to pick me up "That's Vince's chair he won't like you on it."

I moaned "I am Vince you jazzy idiot!"

"Don't growl at me sir, you will have to get used to me and Vince." He said walking away

I didn't mean to growl I was just groaning because you don't know who I am anymore.

How could I prove who I am? Then, just after thinking that, I had a great idea!

I leaped off my chair forgetting these puppy pads have no grips so I slid across the room.

"Careful little man" Howard said setting me back on my paws.

Little man, that's what he calls me all the time.

I ran straight to the stairs and tried to get up the first step but my claws bounced off the edge and I fell onto the floor.

"You okay precious?" Howard said picking me up and carrying me to the top of the stairs.

Precious? I thought to myself and smiled. Well I didn't really smile I'm a puppy now but I was smiling on the inside.

I ran into my bedroom. Wow it's actually really far away from the top of the stairs

I got in through the door and jumped onto my bed, I was really warm so I started panting.

I looked around; my clothes were so boring now that it was all black and white. I pulled some wallpaper off the walls and got ready to start my plan.


	2. How can I prove it

I looked at my wallpaper I knew what I had to do but if Howard caught me in here he'd probably tell me off. I looked across the room and saw my desk and my pens but how could I reach up there. Then I got a great idea! In Naboo's room there is some sort of dough that is really bouncy. I could stretch it and make a doggie trampoline.

So I leapt off my bed and ran into Naboo's room but Howard caught me, my claws were clacking with every move I made on the wooden floor.

"No,no,no." He said lifting me up "Bad boy" then he did the worst thing he could have possibly done. That's right, he smacked me on my nose. How dare he!

Just wait until you find out who I am. I wriggled out of his arms and landed on the floor I just said "ouch!" but when he heard my noise it must have sounded like a screech because he instantly went "are you alright?"

I jumped onto Naboo's footstool and then onto his cupboard where the dough was. I didn't want to but I had to pick it up with my teeth. It tasted awful.

I ran into my room dodging Howards hands.

"No!" He said loudly "That's Vince's room, he doesn't like dogs!"

How dare you Howard, I love dogs!

Howard tried to get me out but I shut the door in his face.

I set the dough over my chair and there was a piece of paper sticking out of the dough.

It read: "don't put more than 90 pounds weight on the dough thank you"

I don't know what weight I am. I'm a Labrador puppy!

I jumped on it anyway and like I wanted I bounced and landed onto the desk.

"Yahoo!" I yelled in excitement.

"No howling!" Howard yelled from downstairs.

Whoops. Wow almost everything I do normally sounds different to Howard.

I lifted one of my pens and jumped back onto my chair. The dough bounced me back onto my bed.

With the pen in my mouth I walked over to the wallpaper. I chewed the pen lid until it fell off.

How am I going to write? I tried with my paws and claws but it was far too difficult.

I lifted the pen in my mouth and tilted my head sideway. Slowly but surely I wrote on the wallpaper it read: Howard, I am Vince Noir!

It was extremely messy but it would have to do.

I picked it up in my teeth and dragged it to the top of the stairs. "Now for the rest of the stairs." I mumbled to myself

I wonder if it sounded like growling to Howard.

I pushed the wallpaper with my nose and it went down two steps. I stepped on the wallpaper and all of a sudden it slipped down the rest of the stairs with little me bumping along behind it. I landed on my face on the floor. I sat up and I was on the wallpaper.

"Hey puppy, have you seen Vince?" Howard asked panicking "They wouldn't have kidnapped him; they'd probably give him back in ten minutes anyway. He talks too much"

I growled. I wasn't trying to say anything I just growled at him.

"What's wrong?" he looked at me confused "don't stick up for Vince, you don't even know him"

I tilted my head to the left side.

"I mean I do love him loads." Howard said

So I guess that now was the perfect time to show him my artwork. I picked it up and padded over to him wagging my tail as fast as I could.

"What's this?" Howard asked

I whimpered and dropped the note at his feet.

He read it and then looked into my big blue eyes.

"Vince?" he whispered

"That's my name" I said but it was just three barks to Howard.

"That explains why you wouldn't come out of your room!" He said stroking my head

He picked me up and set me on his lap. "I prefer you this way." He said

I was shocked, how could he say that. I looked up at him with a snort.

"Naboo doesn't need to know, for now" He said setting me on the counter.

"There's a good boy." He said stroking my stomach as I lay down huffing.

I wish I could talk to him and he would understand .He's my pet, not the other way around.

He stroked a nerve on my stomach, my tail was wagging and suddenly my leg started twitching.

"Good boy" Howard said

"Don't push it" I groaned my tail still wagging.


	3. SWEETS

Well at least Howard knows who I am now!

I can't see my clock but the shops closing so it must be half five. Which means I'm hungry. I have sweets in my room I'll go get them.

"Vince where are you going?" Howard asked

"Sweets!" I yelled slowly climbing up the stairs. I was having problem climbing because my tail would leave me alone, it just keep wagging and hitting my feet.

"Vince no barking!" Howard yelled at me

Don't ask a question if you don't want an answer.

He followed me up the stairs.

I slipped half way and Howard helped me up by pushing my bum.

If I didn't have fur, my face would have gone bright red.

I ran into my room and climbed into the storage part of my bed.

"Vince, what are you getting?" Howard asked me.

I knew he didn't want an answer so what was I meant to do?

"Vince?" he asked as if he wanted an answer.

I just groaned a bit to assure him I was alive.

I pulled out a bag of haribo's and walked towards my door.

"Vince, I'm sorry but dogs can't eat sweets." Howard said coming to take them off me.

I looked at him like he was insane; there is no way he is getting these off me.

"Vince hand them over." He said putting out his hand.

He sounded like my teacher when I went to school.

I ran out of the room sort of yelping just out for excitement of the chase.

I stood at them top of the stairs, my tail wagging and a giant bag of sweets in my mouth.

Howard crawled over towards me, he held his hand out. Yea right Howard, like I'm just going to drop these sweets in your hand like a good boy.

Get real.

I barked and jumped down the first stair but then I slipped and fell head over tail down the rest of them.

"Vince are you alright?" Howard called down to me

"I'm perfectly fine because I have my sweets!" I yelled but it was just yapping to him I suppose.

I jumped onto my chair and opened the bag.

I dug into the sweets saving the cherries. I like them the most.

Howard walked down and saw me with a mouth full of sweets.

"Vince you will make yourself sick." Howard said

Howard when have I ever listened to you, your almost always right but still I never listen to you.

I carried on eating until the cherries were the only things left.

I was starting to feel full but I wanted those cherries and there were only three of them.

So I went ahead and ate them.

Howard came over to me with a whiteboard and marker.

I looked at him like he was a psycho.

"This is for you to talk to me on." He said

I barked.

I jumped off my chair and went down to the board.

I finished eating and then picked the board up.

"Are you feeling sick yet Vince?" Howard asked because I had just polished off a bag or fizzy sweets.

I was getting faster at spelling. The board read: NO!

I started to write again without Howard's questioning. Once I had finished, I dropped the pen and ran outside.

The board read: Gone to talk to someone about something.

I want to go find that wolf fox thing and see if he can make me talk.

Wish me luck!


	4. the girls!

I was walking along out the back and I started thinking about Howard for once.

It must be hard for him to take in; one minute he's telling me to clear the bin next minute he is asking questions that I can't answer.

I could smell the fox wolf thing so I tried to track its sent.

I followed it all the way to a fox den.

I scrabbled in and his smell was making my nose sting, he stinks.

The wolf fox thing ran up to me and snarled. I whimpered and back away.

"Vince?" I asked suddenly stopping

"Yes, I wanted to ask you something." I said still backing away my tail between my legs.

"What's wrong?" He asked tipping his head to the side. "Don't you like being a dog?"

"I just wanted to know if I could talk to humans." I asked sort of stepping forward.

"I do have one trick that will make you talk." He said walking further into his den.

I started to follow him but he span round and snarled "No, you stay here!"

He came back with a biscuit in his mouth and dropped it at my feet.

"Eat it!" He snapped

I ate it quickly.

"Good baby." He said putting his paw on my head

I wanted to snarl but he could have killed me. Why did he turn me into a puppy and not a full grown dog! If I was full grown I would have bitten his ear off.

I finished eating and then all of a sudden the fox wolf turned on me!

"Go home puppy." He growled

"What?" I asked confused

"My pack are coming, if they see a baby pet like you they will kill you, go home!"

He started chasing me so I ran like hell.

When I got home I decided to try talking to Howard.

"Howard can you hear me?" I asked

"Vince?" is that you?" Howard asked

"Yeah! You can understand me, great!" I said

"Vince, how did you do it?" Howard asked

"Well I simply... woof woof woof!" I said messing around

"Vince, what was that?" Howard said looking at me

"Nothing Howard." I said trotting off to the stairs

I took it slowly on step at a time and got up the stairs. I walked over to the tv and used my nose to push the on switch.

I waiting for the channel to come on. The news was the first thing that came on.

I snorted, I hate the news.

I closed my eyes and listened since I couldn't go partying.

The news lady started her talk. She must be one of the most depressed people in the world.

Such and such died or committed suicide.

"News flash!" she said in her ever calm voice "two female dogs were found today with the ability to write like humans.

My eyes opened. Writing dogs? Not just any writing dogs, girl writing dogs!

"How did you learn to write" she asked the dogs joking around

"Help us! We're super stars!" They yapped.

I looked at them, and then I remembered I can understand animals anyway.

"Awww it's like they know what I said." The reporter said smiling

The dogs were pretty, one was a golden Labrador with blue eyes and then I took a better look at the other one, she was a black Labrador just like me and she had blue eyes just like me too!

I started drooling, I couldn't help it.

"What are the puppy's names?" the woman said to the guy with the camera.

"I don't know?" the camera man replied

"I'm Ultra." The golden Labrador said

"I'm Neon." The black Labrador said

"The electro girls!" I said jumping off my seat and walking towards the tv.

"These two beautiful dogs are up for sale at the dog pound." She said as the dogs got put back into their cages.

"Hold on girls, I'm coming to get you." I said running to the top of the stairs and not thinking about it I jumped from the top but I landed three steps down and slid down the rest.

I ran straight to the front door and tried to reach the handle but being a puppy I couldn't reach the handle.

"Vince, no." Howard said

"Awk, I have to go!" I said

"No, Vince, I'm going out stay in the kitchen until I come back." Howard said leaving through the back door.

I tried to brush out past him but he pushed me back inside. I need to save the girls but I can't reach the door handle.

So this is where my magic starts  
I jumped onto my chair and it spun round again. I waited till it was facing the window ledge then I jumped. I jumped a bit too far and thwacked into the window but I was okay.

I walked to the side closest to the door and I could reach!

I pushed down with both my paws and the door opened. I fell onto the floor but I didn't mind because the door was open. I ran outside into the rain and started running towards the pound.

I nearly got hit by a few cars but I crossed the road alright. I looked at a map some stupid tourist had dropped on the floor. To get there I just have to run down this path and turn left. So I did. How could I get into the pound without being put in a cage myself? Easy I can talk to humans.

I waltzed in and the guy came over to lift me.

"Handing yourself in are you?" he asked

"No." I said "I'm coming to visit my friends."

The man dropped me in shock.

"Did you just talk?" He asked walking away

"Yes, my name is Vince." I said

"Okay, right this way sir." He said opening the door

I listened for a second there is loads of singing going on, bet it sounds like howling to everyone else.

I listened I didn't know some songs. Some songs were depressing, some were funny and some were normalish.

There was a ginger dog with curly fur and really black eyes, he was singing too.

Then I heard it "I am electro pup, I am electro dog"

"The girls!" I yelled and ran towards them.

"Neon, Ultra!" I panted

"Who are you?" Ultra said looking at me

"Vince?" Neon said probably recognising my pretty sweet voice.

"Yea, it's me!" I said

"How did you get in here?" She asked

"I can talk to humans" I said showing off

"Yea, well we can sing in tune." Ultra said

"Would you rescue me kind hero?" Neon said putting her paw out through the bars.

My tail started wagging.

"Sure." I said

I opened the lock and let the girls out.

"So Neon, how about dinner eh?" I said taking a breath in and walking towards her

Ultra burst out laughing.

"If you don't mind us staying at your place." She said

"No problem, Howard won't mind me having some mates around for the night." I said taking the lead

"No, we mean till we're human again." Neon said

I stopped walking


	5. Bitches

"Well?" Neon asked

"No problem." I said with a fake smile

I started walking out of the pound.

"Excuse me sir are you going to pay for those bitches?" the man said

"How dare he!" Neon said

"It means a girl dog." Ultra said

"Oh yeah." Neon smiled

"No, I got them for free in the first place." I said as I calmly walked passed

The man picked me up by the scruff of my neck.

"What do you mean?" he said

"Well the black one is my girlfriend and the blonde one is my uh.. sister." I said quickly my tail pathetically wagging.

"Fine!" The man said throwing me onto the floor.

"Sister!" Ultra said disgusted

"First thing that came to mind sorry." I said

"Girlfriend" Neon said smiling

"Yea, that's what I said." I smiled

"Fine lets go home." Ultra said

"Okay." Neon and I said at the same time

We looked at each other and then looked away.

Don't tell her I said this but I really like Neon. I think if I put on the charm she will be wrapped around my little claw in two minutes.

"So, Neon." I started as we walked down the path

"What do you want Noir?" She said putting her nose in the air.

"Are you single or is someone going to have to watch out?" I said making stuff up on the spot.

"Someone's going to have to watch out." She said stubbornly

"Who?" I said trying to act my coolest.

"you." She said.

Well I was lost, my smile dropped and I knew this wasn't going the way I planned.

"uh why?" I asked

"'Cause I'm single and plan on staying that way." She said

"Then why do I have to watch out?" I asked my ears lifting a bit

"'Cause I'll bite you if you don't leave me alone." She growled

In the words of Bollo, I have a bad feeling about her.

So I padded up to Ultra

"Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" I said smiling

"You're pathetic." She said walking faster

"Bitches." I snarled

"You mean lady dogs right?" Neon asked

"pfft." I snorted and just looked away

I started to lag behind; I didn't want to walk with them.

Neon walked back to me.

"What do you want?" I snapped

"Well if you must know I'd like to talk to you, alone." She said

"Oh" I said smiling

We stopped for a second and waited till Ultra had turned the corner.

"What is it?" I asked

"I really like you." She said

I blushed as much as a dog can.


	6. Pinned ya!

"I love you too" I said wagging my tail

"I didn't say love!" she spat at me

"Sorry your majesty." I said bowing

"Should be" She snorted

I walked on not sure if we were friends or not.

She ran up behind me, jumped and threw me to the floor.

"Pined ya" he giggled and licked me

I shyly giggled, I wanted to bite her.

She let me up and trotted ahead.

I tried to run up and pin her but she ducked and I fell face first to the floor.

"That was smooth" she said sarcastically

"yea.." I said laughing

Ultra walked back round the corner.

"Amateurs" She said rolling her eyes

"yea, grow up Noir" Neon mumbled prancing on.

I ran in front of them and did my cool walk until we got back to the shop.

"Okay genius, how do we get in." Ultra snapped

"Easy" I said smoothly

I scratched pathetically at the door.

It slowly opened.

"See?" I said "piece of cake"

I walked in and jumped onto my chair.

I lay down. "make yourselves at home"

I kicked a stall and sunglasses fell neatly over my eyes.

That must have looked so cool.

Neon leaped onto the table.

I couldn't do that if I tried but I didn't let it bother me

"What ya got ta eat?" Neon asked sniffing around.

"White caviar" I bragged

"Wow, that's worth like millions!" Ultra gasped

"You won't mind us eating it?" Neon asked

"Nah, not at all" I said running upstairs.

I clawed through my bedroom cupboards, we can't afford bread never mind white caviar.

I pulled out a box of cheerios.

"Bingo!" I yapped

I poured some of them out and scraped them into three little dishes.

I mashed them with my paws until they were crumbs and then poured water in until they were like buns.

"Come get it!" I yelled kicking the cereal box out of their view

They dashed up and practically attacked the dishes.

Ultra stopped and looked up.

"This tastes like cereal!" She snorted

"that's what makes it so rare!" I said raising my doggie eyebrows.

She looked at me and went back to eating.

We ate in silence.

Then the shop bell went.

"Crap!" I whimpered "Howard's home."


End file.
